What Really Happened

I am currently reading the heartbreaking book, The Pact, by Jodi Picoult.  This is about a girl and a boy who have known each other since they were born.  Or at least, since  Emily was born, a few months after Chris.  They have been best friends since forever, and are happily in love--until Emily dies.  She and Chris had a joint suicide pact, they would kill themselves together, with Chris's father's gun.  Emily had shot herself first, Chris would have gone second except he had passed out after Emily pulled the trigger.  The police had come before he could have awoken and killed himself too.

Or is that what really happened?

That is Chris' story, at least.  And because Emily isn't there to verify it, the state, and Emily's parents, have no reason to believe that it wasn't Chris who shot his girlfriend, and told the suicide story to cover it up.  There is evidence to prove he was the one who shot her, after all.  But then again, there is evidence that suggests that he didn't.  So, they take it to court.  But until the case, coincidentally scheduled on Emily's birthday, Chris is stuck in jail.

The reason this book is so heartbreaking for me to read-- except, of course, the fact that Emily died-- is that Chris might get what he doesn't deserve.  I am not yet done with this book, so I don't know if he is convicted guilty or not.  But, there is a perfectly good chance that he is sentenced to prison-- 30 years to life.  It's so hard for me to read this knowing that Chris, the athletic, caring, popular, straight-A student, could have his life basically thrown away.  He had a good future in front of him.  But what if he has to spend it in jail?  It will ruin his life.  And he wouldn't even have done anything.

But, then again, I can't even know for certain IF he is guilty or not.  Though I want to believe that he is innocent-- and I'm 99.9% sure that he is-- there is always that off-chance.  What is he thinking that was not told to us by the author?  What do we not know about what happened that night?  What do we not want to know?  Maybe Chris did kill Emily.  Maybe there is something glaringly obvious form either what Chris thought, or a flashback, that proves that indeed, he was Emily's killer.  But maybe I, along with the other readers of this book, and the characters along in the book, could not bare to believe that he was indeed guilty.  So it was ignored.

I don't know how Chris will be convicted.  And I don't know what actually killed Emily--herself or Chris.  And I don't actually know if I will find that last one out.  But until then, I can only do two things--read, and hope.