Some Infinities

In "The Fault in Our Stars," by John Green, an extremely important theme is time, and how you live your life.  In this book, many of the characters have cancer, and some of them are even dying.  So, time is something that is very important and monumental in this book.  The characters in this book learn the importance of time, and how your time is used.  They have to deal with the fact that their time may be running out, and they have less time than many others.  They have to figure out how to use their time in the best ways, and how to enjoy their time.  

I think the characters in this book have a very interesting perspective on time.  Within the book, the characters view time very differently.  For example, in the beginning of the book, Hazel knows she may have a limited time because of her cancer.  So, she uses her limited time to watch reruns of America's Next Top Model, and hang out in her room.  This is very different from the way Augustus uses his time.  In the beginning of the book, he did not know he was going to die and thought he had just as much time as anyone else.  Still, he used his time well, he used it to help out his friends and family and try to make the world a better place.  This difference is very important, because even though Augustus thought he had basically all the time in the world, he still used it as if he would die tomorrow.  And even though Hazel had limited time, she used her time as if she would never run out.

This also relates to an important quote that Hazel said in the end of the book.  She said, "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."  In the context she was using, she talked about how there were infinite numbers between 1 and 0 (.1, .12, .122...).  But, she also said, there are even more infinite numbers between one 2 and 0, or  a million and 0.  In this way, Hazel's "infinity" is greater than Augustus' "infinity", because Hazel has more time to do her infinite amount of things than Augustus.  But, in another way, I think that Augustus' infinity is greater that Hazel's, at least in the beginning of the book, because of the way he lives in his infinity.  He lives every day like it is his last, so even though he has much less time than Hazel, it is spent in such a greater, more important way.

An important message from this book is about how you live your life.  Even though you may not have a lot of time to live, if you live your life to the fullest, it will be a fulfilling life.  If you help and care about the people around you, and live every day like it is your last, you will have a great and successful life.

Denial

I am still reading the book "The Catcher in the Rye," by J.D Salinger.  This book is about a boy named Holden Caufield. In this book, Holden begins this story at a school called Prancy prep, an exclusive and private school located in Agerstown, Pennsylvania. In the beginning of the book, he has just gotten kicked out of this school.
 
Before Holden leaves the school for good, he wants to say goodbye to one of his favorite teacher Mr. Spencer.  But, Holden was too afraid to see him again because he was old and has the flu which creeps him  out. Or at least that's what Holden says.  Honestly, I think that is just an excuse for him.  I think that Holden is scared to visit his favorite teacher because he is never going to see him again.  I think that Holden is afraid that his teacher will be ashamed, or disappointed in him.  Mr. Spencer was one of the few good parts that Holden had in this school, and he doesn't want to ruin that for him.  So, instead of confronting his teacher, Holden leaves the school a few days early to go to New York.

I think that Holden doing this is away of denial, or not confronting his fears.  Even though Holden has gotten kicked out of many schools, and appears very cool with it, I think that he is not so okay with it on the inside.  I think that if he visits his favorite teacher to say goodbye, it is much more real, and I think that Holden is afraid of that.

From the Past

Right now I am reading the book "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D Salinger.  This book takes place in 1949, and is about sixteen-year-old student Holden Caulfield from New York City.  In this book, Holden has flunked out of many advance schools, because he never "applies himself to his school work". Holden tells this story in from after it takes place.  I think that this is really interesting.  Many stories are told in the present tense, so as you read it, the same thing is happening to the characters in the moment.  I think the fact that this book is written as the past, it gives it a special point of view.

Since this book is written from the future, the narrator already knows what is going to happen.  Because of this, the narrator can hint at something that is going to happen, but not actually tell the whole story.  I think this is interesting for the reader because it makes you really curious about the events that are going to come.  It also makes the reader guess or predict about the little hints that are given.  

Another reason that I think it is interesting for a book to be written from the future is that the narrator/ main character already knows the whole story, so they can reflect on it.  As the story goes on, they know how each decision and event is going to affect the rest of the story.  They know if the things they do were good ideas, or bad, and they know what they are going to regret.  This is very different from books written in the present, because the main character doesn't yet know the affects of his actions.

Consistency

I am currently reading the book, "An Abundance of Katherines" by John Green.  This book is about a boy named Colin who has had nineteen girlfriends when the book starts-- and all of them had been named Katherine.  Colin only dates Katherines.  He refuses to go out with a Catherine, a Katy, Cat, or any variation.  Only Katherine with a K. He is very set on this consistency.  His relationships always go basically the same, and the Katherines always break up with him after some time.  

In the book, Colin goes on a road trip with his friend Hassan. While on the trip, they meet a girl named Lindsey and they stay with her and her mother.  Right away, I made a prediction about this book.  I think that by the end, Lindsey and Colin will get together and break Colin's rule about Katherine's.  I think that a main part of this book is that Colin is changing his ways.  He is taking new chances and trying new things.  I predict that by the end of the book, Colin will learn that consistency is not always the best, and even though it might be more difficult, sometimes he needs to take a chance

Symmetry

I recently read the book"The Butterfly Clues" by Kate Ellison.  This book is about a girl named Lo.  For Lo,  everything is in 3s, 6s, and 9s. Whenever she is nervous or worried she'll tap her thigh nine times, then another nine, then another six, on her right leg, repeating the whole thing again on her left, then again on her right, to make it three reps. Whenever she enters or exits a place, she has to tap three times and whisper "banana", because banana is special. She says it is to "make it even. The universe wanted it that way." She has been doing this ever since her brother Oren died. I think that she has to do this to find a strength in consistency, since she has lost strength so many times before.

When we are young, I think we need this to make sense in the world. When I was little, everything had to be even. If I scratched one leg, I had to scratch the other. At some points, even if my mom brushed past my side, I'd have to do it to the other side, too. I think I did this to find safety in... symmetry. Knowing that whatever happened to one arm would happen to the other, I think I felt a kind of solidarity, if that makes any sense. Like an inner peace thing that one half of me wouldn't just abandon the other half. But once I got older, I realized that I wasn't going to part of myself, but more importantly, people weren't going to leave me either. But Lo doesn't know that yet. She has no one to trust, to talk to, only herself. And she's worried that she'll leave herself, just like everyone else did.

I think that Lo has to tap because she has lost so much after Oren died, she had no more stability. Tapping is something she knows she can always count on, and she can't let herself down. But she has to realize that people like her mom and dad do love her, they just don't know how to show it. And kids at school do care about her, but she has to reach them half way. She has been tapping for so long, she doesn't know that there is another way. But I think that unless she opens her eyes and realizes that there are loving people surrounding her, she's never going to get better.

Searching

 I recently reread the book, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer.  This is a fictional book about 11 year old Oskar Schell who lost his father on 9/11. Soon after his father's death, Oskar finds a key in his father's office and immediately decides to look for the lock. But there are thousands and thousands of locks in NYC, and his chances of finding the right lock is extremely low. Something I was thinking about throughout was why Oskar was so set on finding the lock.

 The most obvious reason that he would do this would be curiosity, because a key is a key, and it opens something. How could you not wonder what that something is? But I don't think simple curiosity would drive Oskar to spend months walking around the city and talking to strangers (he isn't even very comfortable with that at all). Oskar is a really, really smart kid--he's not the kind of person who'd do something this big just to satisfy his curiosity.

 Then, I came up with a different idea. Oskar was very close to his dad, and I think he was going on this "journey" because he had to do something to remember his dad. He felt closer to his dad when on the journey. I think he didn't really, really cared about what he found at the end. Maybe after he got an answer he could tuck his dad away.  He might have just needed closure about his dad's death.  During his walks through the city he could feel like his dad was still here and that he was doing it all for his dad. Or, maybe he wanted his dad to be proud that he was doing this.

 At the end, the discovery wasn't as "big" as you'd think, but it was still the end of the path. Oskar got his answers and completed what he'd sought out to do. In a way, all his devotion had payed off. But even though Oskar found a lock, I don't think it wasn't the lock he wished for. In a way, even though he himself wouldn't really believe it, I think Oskar just wanted his dad. Like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, he wanted his father to be there after all his hard work. But what Oskar learned was that he had to accept that his dad was really gone. Not forget him, of course, but put him in the past. The author gave the reader a sort of harsh reality, that the answers you find might not be the ones you wanted.

Support Group

I recently reread the book, "The Fault in Our Stars," by John Green. This book is about a teenage girl named Hazel who has thyroid caner, and how she falls in love with a boy named Augustus Waters, who also used to have a type of cancer. The author does a great job capturing the voice of a teenage girl, and making it very apparent, through details, the way she thinks and feels.  Something that is interesting about Hazel is that she does not pity herself for being diagnosed with cancer, but at the same time she knows that it does impact her life greatly, and the way people think of her. For example, when she first notices Augustus, she automatically assumes that he feels sorry for her because of the physical features she has, showing that she has cancer.

In the beginning of the book, Hazel goes to a “Support Group” for kids and teenagers who have or are survivors of cancer, which is where she meets Augustus. At first, Hazel is very doubtful about this group and does not think it will be any help. She is reluctant to go, and when she gets there she does not want to talk. But she did mention that she thought she could make friends with some of people in this group. Because Hazel does not attend a regular high school, she is much less socially active and does not have as many chances to make new friends. So, this will be a very good experience for her to meet and talk with other people who may be going through similar issues with her.

I think that Hazel might not have been so thrilled about the support group because she was afraid that if she got too close to someone there, she could lose them because they are all at risk of cancer. Based on what Hazel has described, after she was diagnosed with cancer she lost everything—her friends, attending school, and many of her abilities were limited. I can understand why Hazel would be reluctant to start over with her friendships and make connections, as many of her old ones ended poorly.  I also think that her cancer is something she tries to avoid and not think about too much, so when she goes to this group which revolves mostly around cancer, Hazel would be facing a huge obstacle in her life, which she will have to overcome.

Volunteering

I recently re-read the book The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. This is a well written and world famous book about what North America had turned into in the very far future. In this book, 16 year old girl named Katnis Everdeen has to fight in the “hunger games” in the place of her younger sister. The hunger games are games designed by the capitol in which one boy and one girl are recruited from each of the 12 districts. Each district is different. Some are very wealthy, while others like district 12, the district Katnis is from, are extremely poor and treated the worst by the Capital. The hunger game requires the 24 contestants to be placed in an area and kill each other until only one remains. The remaining person will get all the money, food, housing, and anything else they would need for the rest of their lives. Katniss overcomes many obstacles, both physical and mental before and during the hunger games. She has to get past the competition while making a few friends along the way. What she goes through is probably unspeakably hard, but her main goal throughout the whole book is to make it home to her sister.

            I admire Katniss very much. I think that she is a very noble and a brave person for volunteering to fight. She was the 1^st ever volunteer for district 12, as not that many people want to be put in an arena and kill others their age. She must have also loved her sister very much. At the beginning of the book, it is made clear that she is some-what of a mother figure for her younger sister who is only 12 years old. To have the lingering thought that any minute she could be slaughtered by a complete stranger must be an awful feeling and also quite terrifying, so that shows just how brave Katniss really is.

            In the end, I think that Katniss is a really admirable person and I think that she is a good person and cares a lot about other people’s well-being. If there were more people like Katniss in the world, I’m sure it would be a much better place. In the book, it states that Katniss was the 1^st ever volunteer from district 12. This just shows that she is a very caring person, but there weren't many like her. 

Difficulties

I recently read the book Teen Angst? Nahh… by Ned Vizzini.  This is a book about a teenage boy, Ned Vizzini, growing up in New York City in the late 90’s. Vizzini narrates his story, telling stories about his past experiences and funny moments throughout his teenage years. He faces everyday problems like any other teenager would, which he learns to overcome, and move on from. One main problem that he faces throughout the book is his academics. He is a strong student, but from the very beginning of the book the stress is difficult for him to deal with.

            At the very beginning of the book, Ned Vizzini describes the New York City high school process to the reader, and explains how difficult and competitive it is. He says that there is one test, (the SHSAT) which the students must take, and if they pass that, they are able to go to some of the best high schools in the city, and even country. He ends up passing the exam, and getting into Stuyvesant—which is considered the hardest place to get into. Vizzini tells how he studied for 4 months straight in order to get into Stuyvesant, and pass the test.

            Once he is in the school he has to deal with the immense difficulty and advanced workload that the students are expected to do. He even recalls his own teacher telling him, “You can have a personal life, good grades and sleep in Stuyvesant, but you can only choose two of them.” This shows just how difficult his school must have been, for the teacher to have to tell this to the students. Vizzini ends up telling the reader how he chose “sleep and good grades.” He must have been devoted enough to work this hard considering he was giving up any social plans he would later have.

            In a slight way I can relate to the author because of what he has gone through in his life. I also have to do this high school process and will probably have to deal with the problems, stress, and worry that comes with going to high school and growing up. Ned Vizzini seems like a really dedicated person and it continues to amaze me how devoted he must have to go to such a hard school still get good grades and stay on track throughout his life. He even gave up his whole social life for this.  This tells me that anyone can do whatever they want, as long as they have enough determination and they want it enough.

Changing the Future

I recently reread the book, The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler.  This book is about two best friends, Josh Templeton and Emma Nelson in the year 1996.  When one of them gets a computer, they somehow find Facebook, which tells them about their future lives.   Their lives take lots of twists as Josh and Emma try to change the future, or preserve it as it is. Mistakes are made, but there's no way to change their futures back.

A big part of this book is Emma and Josh’s relationship.  In the book, when Emma realizes that if she does something in the present, it would cause a ripple in the time stream and change her future. For example, she changes where she lives from Ohio to London by saying that she will never move to Ohio and clicking the refresh button. At first, Emma only does small things, but her life doesn't change very much, and she's not happy with it, so to try and make a bigger change she kisses Josh.

In the past Josh had developed a crush on Emma, and thought she liked him too, so he kissed her. Emma didn't feel that way about Josh, and their friendship had been more fragile because of it, but Josh still likes Emma. So when Emma kissed Josh to create a change, he thought she was toying with his emotions. He thought she did that on purpose, and according to Facebook Josh never forgave Emma (he wasn't her friend on Facebook). Before this scene Emma was talking to her best friend Kellan and Kellan was asking Emma if anything might be between her and Josh. Emma thought about it, and said no way, but had second thoughts. Maybe Emma really did have some feelings for Josh, but didn't realize it. Josh gets really mad at Emma and starts to focus on his Facebook future, but later remembers a time when he tried to draw Emma. Josh is an amazing artist, but when he drew Emma he couldn't capture her into the drawing, and felt like he had failed. Maybe he was clouded by his emotions. Josh also had confronted Emma about her dating habits and how she went out with guys and didn't even like them and went straight to the next guy. But I think Josh wishes he was one of those guys, just he wants Emma to genuinely like him, and stay with him. He wants Emma to see how much he really likes her. 

Sonnet

The snow falls down on the harsh winter day.

The wind is blowing strong; the trees are bare.

I hope this weather is not here to stay.

Right now, I long for the sun’s shining glare.

December through February is cold.

The temperature is dropping ev’ry day.

It feels just so long, I feel oh so old.

I wish for the months March, April, and May.

But actually, winter’s kind-of nice,

To drink hot chocolate by a fire,

In the summer I want a bowl of ice.

The hot summer days force me to tire.

In cold winter days, I think I might freeze.

Though summer’s not perfect, I want it now.

Endings.

I just finished the book, "Nineteen Minutes," by Jodi Picoult.  When I finished it, something immediately struck me.  Though most books end with a good event, or at least a little hope, this did not at all have this effect.  In the end, Peter is sentenced to more years than he will live in prison, and Josie is in prison for five years.  This certainly was not the ending I had envisioned.  And though this ending made me sad that the characters were not ending up well, I feel like it was deserved.  

Because the reality of it is that even if you think Peter doesn't deserve to go to jail, that he was provoked,  he killed 10 people. And even if Josie thought she was making the world a better place by killing Sterling High School's meanest bully, she still killed him. We may do things that we think will make the world better -- and maybe it will -- but we have to think of everyone when we do something rash and and reckless. Would it be nice if Josie and Peter didn't go to jail? Yes, I think it would. But, at the same time, even though they had reasoning, what they did was wrong.  And any way you look at it, it was not the right thing to do.  And even though it is disappointing to have to look at their futures in this way, I think it is necessary.  Because, I believe, even if neither Josie nor Peter had gone to jail, I would still not be content.  Two people who broke the law and ruined people's lives, I believe deserve to be punished.  So, in a way, I agree with this not so typical ending.

A Reason Why

I recently reread the book, "Thirteen Reasons Why," by Jay Asher.  This book is about a boy Clay, and his relationship between a girl in his school, Hannah. He liked Hannah, but never really talked to her that much. But then, he discovers that she committed suicide. And about two weeks after that, he finds out that he is one of the reasons why. Hannah had sent a tape around to each of the thirteen reasons why she killed herself, explaining how they affected her.  Throughout the story, the reader sees how other people's stories have affected Clay, and how Clay is affected by his own story. In the end, Clay comes out scarred, but also better prepared for what life may give him.

In life, we are tested. We have to prove that we can overcome obstacles, no matter how hard they may be. In truth, we will overcome them, even if it takes a while. But at the time, we usually do not know that. So when Clay received this package and listened to the tapes, he was torn apart. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to sit and listen to a dead girls voice talking about how she was abused, and waiting to hear how you played a part in it. And at points, Clay wasn't sure what to do, how to go on. But once he finished the tapes, he must've felt at least a little relieved, because he now knows why Hannah committed suicide, and he knows what to do in the future, even if he can't change the past.

Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

I am still reading the book "Nineteen Minutes," by Jodi Picoult.  In the beginning of the book, it seems like one of the characters, Josie has a near-perfect life. She is a "pretty, popular, straight-A student".  Other people at her school are jealous of everything she has, a rich, successful mom, a cute boyfriend, a seat at the "cool" table for lunch. Everyone feels like Josie has the ideal life.  That is, everyone except Josie. Inside, Josie is constantly freaking out about her life.  She feels like nobody knows the "real" Josie, and that now, she has no way of going back.  She is so paranoid that somebody will find out that she is fake, that she keeps pills stored by her bed, so she has a "back-up plan" of killing herself.  

We always hear the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover". Yet, everyday, we constantly judge people. We automatically assume that pretty people have a good life, and that people who don't have a lot of friends have a boring life, and so on. But do we actually know what is going on in their lives? Is it fair to judge them based on the little things we know? It isn't. It is not fair to assume that just because Josie is popular or pretty, she has no problems.  And that is what Josie is thinking. Though I do not believe she should kill herself, I understand why she is considering it. Everyone thinks that they know everything about her. But they don't know everything, and if they did, she is afraid everyone would hate her. Josie has to realize that people love her no matter what. She is the only one that has doubts in her.

Catching Jordan

I'm currently reading the book, "Catching Jordan" by Miranda Kenneally.  In this book, the main character,Jordan,  is constantly doubted. She is on a football team with all boys and all they do is disrespect her. She knows she has talent in the sport of football but no one else really seems to care. People don't appreciate her talent just because she is as girl.

Another reason people look down at Jordan they think she is just there to make a good impression on all the boys. They think she just wants the guys to think she is cool and to like her.  People assume she is just seeking attention from them because she is lonely.  They don't think that she would just be playing football because she enjoyed it.   They don't even bother to watch her play because they don't expect anything. 

This theme is really apparent in the outside world.  Girls are often labeled as attention seeking so people don't expect them to achieve greatness.  People commonly just think that all girls care about is guys, and what they think of them. But that is not at all the case.  Many girls actually have things they are good at, that they enjoy to do.  But people just decide that they are doing it for guys.  I think that this is really unfair.  People need to realize that girls do not just live to impress guys, and that is what this book is about.

Alcoholism

I recently read the book "Lush" by Natasha Friend is about a girl and her problems with coping with her father's alcoholism.  When I read this book, I thought a lot about how the issues reflected in this book are modeled in the outside world.  

I think being an alcoholic is a really complicated issue that effects a bunch of families around the world. Samantha has to learn how to deal with her father always being drunk and hiding it from her friends. She doesn't want her friends like Tracy, Vanessa, and Angie to know that her father how her father really is. Having someone so close to you have a serious problem must be really hard. And she can't even talk about it to her friends, which is really sad.  So, Samantha starts to write to this boy in high school about her problems. He really helps Samantha.

I think alcoholism is a serious social issue. Alcohol isn't the problem itself, but really its the abuse of alcohol. Once you start you cant stop and it can lead to things that are really dangerous. For example, domestic violence. You can do things that you really don't mean to do but you are drunk and you don't know what is happening. Some families suffer from violence because of alcohol. It's a very powerful thing. For example, in the book Samantha has a little brother named Luke. She is really protective of him but one day, they were home with their dad who was drunk. They were in the living room making a lot of noise when her dad came in and told them to be quiet. Luke is only three so he laughed. Then the dad hit him over the head with a beer bottle. It was an awful mistake what happened. And it was one of the awful side effects of being drunk.